> Flýði fjánda undan,
> frákat, hildar snákum
> (ómundanga mengi)
> mær sú - drekktisk snekkja.
> Hnísu söltum svelta
> svanr Hás skatna (tötrug
> hekk hausfilla) þekkir
> hundmarga í grundum.

The metre seems to be getting better. :)
The halfs still aren't independent, though.

> Flýði sú mær undan hildarsnákum fjánda, (þá) frá ek (þat) eigi.
> Snekkja drekktisk. Svanr Hás þekkir svelta skatna hundmarga,
> ómundanga mengi, í söltum grundum Hnísu. Hausfilla hekk tötrug.

I did not hear that that maiden fled from the
war-snakes [weapons] of enemies. A ship was sunk.
The swan of Odin [raven] recognizes exceedingly
many starved men, a multitude of imbalance [??], in
the salt lands of the porpoise [sea]. The tattered
skin of the skull hung.

Or perhaps you intend 'sveltr' to mean simply "dead".

I don't understand "ómundanga mengi". Great host?

Kveðja,
Haukur