> Do you think elds...lagnar is reasonable for "of gold"?

I've seen worse.

> Vals spýtum nú vætu
> víss Kvasis fyr elds Dísi.
> Biðk til Temsar Boðnar,
> bragnar, hljóðs, nú lagnar.
> Hvé haugs gaf vilk hrafni
> hrönnum móðir Önnu
> menn, Sága Sílægju,
> segja, báls, vígs álum.

Over-alliteration in line 5?

It is rare to end a line with a three-syllable word
and I think it's mostly done when the word in question
is a name, like here:

"raddkleif at Þorleifi"

> Spýtum nú vætu vals víss Kvasis fyr Dísi elds lagnar [=elds þess er
> lagnar eru í lagðar]. Ek bið (yðr) hljóðs, bragnar, til Temsar
> Boðnar. Ek vil segja hvé móðir Önnu, Sága báls Sílægju, gaf haugsmenn
> [grafarmenn!] hrönnum til hrafns (með) álum vígs.

Indeed. It seems somewhat peculiar to use
"gefa til + gen.", the normal way is "gefa + dat."

> How do these revised versions look, metre-wise?

I think you're definitely improving!
Soon, you will realize the inner mysteries
of dróttkvætt.

Now, if we want to be quite precise we should make
sure that each line falls into one of the common
stress patterns: A, A2k, C, D1, D2 or E (following
Eysteinn's revision of Gade's revision of Kuhn's
revision of Sievers' system)

It's just such an unreasonably complex meter, you have to:

1. Count syllables.
2. Alternate strong and weak syllables under certain rules.
3. Use alliteration under certain rules.
4. Implement a particular rhyme scheme.

Most ancient poetic traditions stopped at number two...

> 'blíðkinni' is just
> made up, as far as I know, but I'm hoping it works as a not-too-
> farfetched paraphrase for 'linkinni'?

Fine by me :)

Kveðja,
Haukur