> * upajaanaati (v) have knowledge of.

upa should mean "come to", "near", or "firm". Here I would say "came to know"

> * appa.tivaanitaa [PED has appa.tivaa.nitaa] (f) not being hindered,
> non-obstruction, free effort.

I would contrast this word with appa.tivaanii - the former looks to be a bhaava-tadhita formation: appa.tivaanissa bhaavo = appa.tivaanitaa (the state of being one who is unhindered*). This is clear because the phrase "discontentment with good states, and free of obstruction in effort" is syntactically incorrect - I would suggest adding "-dom" to "free".

* Appa.tivaanii (see below) + taa bhaava-tadhita suffix

> Appa.tivaanii sudaaha.m, bhikkhave, padahaami -
> non-hindrance / even I / monks / strive
> O monks, even I strive (for) non-hindrance -
>
> * appa.tivaanii [PED has appa.tivaa.nii] (f) non-hindrance,
> non-restriction, free action.

I can't see how the two can be the same; this one is lacking the bhaava suffix... here it seems to me that appa.tivaanii is a modifier of aha.m. I would rather translate this as:

"Verily, o monks, I strove on free from hindrance"

but I may be wrong :)

> 'kaama.m taco ca nhaaru ca a.t.thi ca avasissatu, sariire upasussatu
> ma.msalohita.m, ya.m ta.m purisathaamena purisaviiriyena
> purisaparakkamena pattabba.m na ta.m apaapu.nitvaa viiriyassa
> sa.n.thaana.m bhavissatii'ti.
> as it shall be / skin / and / tendon / and / bone / and /
> may...remains / in body / may...dries up / flesh and blood / which /
> that / with manly strength / with manly vigour / with manly energy /
> has to be attained / not / that / having attained / of vigour / nature
> / will become
> 'As it shall be, may the skin, tendon and bone remains, may flesh and
> blood in the body dries up, whichever (that) has to be attained with
> manly strength, vigour and energy, having not attained that, (one)
> will assume the characteristics of vigour.'
> * kaama.m (adv) "my pleasure", willingly, let it be that [usually with
> imper.].

kaama.m should be "gladly", I would think...

As for the rest, I'm going to go out on a limb here, and suggest an alternate translation again:

'Gladly, may skin, tendon and bone be all that remains*, may flesh and blood in the body dry up. (That form)** will be the form of one who,*** not having attained those (virtues) which are such as may be attained with manly strength, vigour and energy,**** has effort.

* ava adds some emphasis in the sense of "down"

** add ta.m sa.n.thaana.m

*** here we start with the ya.m ta.m... the ya.m goes with the second ta.m; the first ta.m I translate as "such".

**** here we end the ya.m ta.m

> Tassa mayha.m, bhikkhave, appamaadaadhigataa sambodhi,
> appamaadaadhigato anuttaro yogakkhemo.
> to that / my / monks / attained with vigilance / sambodhi / attained
> with vigilance / unsurpassed / peace from bondage
> O monks, for that, my sambodhi (is) attained with vigilance, (my)
> unsurpassed peace from bondage (is) attained with vigilance.

mayha.m can't mean "my"... it is catutthi vibhatti (dative). I think it goes with the tassa:

O monks, for that (one who was) me, sambodhi was attained through vigilance.

Svaha.m is a similar construction.

> Tumhe cepi, bhikkhave, appa.tivaana.m padaheyyaatha -
> you / even if / monks / non-hindrance / would strive
> Monks, even if you would strive (for) non-hindrance -

I think:

Monks, if even you would take up* this (practice) free from hindrance

* pa- (fully) + /dhaa (carry)

> tumhepi, bhikkhave, nacirasseva -
> yassatthaaya kulaputtaa sammadeva agaarasmaa anagaariya.m pabbajanti
> tadanuttara.m - brahmacariyapariyosaana.m di.t.theva dhamme saya.m
> abhi~n~naa sacchikatvaa upasampajja viharissatha.

> / will become / you-too / monks / shortly / for the sake of which /
> men of good birth / properly / from home / not a householder / go
> forth / that-unsurpassed / to the end of the moral life / here and now
> / by oneself / knowledge / having realised / having attained / will dwell
> O monks, you too, shortly
> - that (being) unsurpassed, not (of) a householder, for the sake of
> which men of good birth go forth from home properly - you will
> realise, attain and demonstrate the knowledge, here and now, by
> yourselves, to the end of the moral life.

Sorry, this is clearly not correct...

tumhepi - even you all, bhikkhave - o monks, nacirasseva - after a time verily not long abhi~n~naa - having known especially tad - that brahmacariyapariyosaana.m - complete (pari) and final (o) ending (saana) of the holy life yassatthaaya - for the purpose of which kulaputtaa - sons of (good) families sammadeva - rightly indeed pabbajanti - go forth agaarasmaa - from the home anagaariya.m - to the state of being one without a home (anagaarissa bhaavo = anagaariyaa) sacchikatvaa - having made clear di.t.theva - verily, in visible dhamme - reality viharissatha - will dwell upasampajja - having caused (it) to arise saya.m -yourselves.

> Please correct me if there is any mistake.

Good work... sorry if I've gone to far.

Best Wishes,

Yuttadhammo (Phra Noah)