In the SCA, we take everything _VERY_ seriously.  So seriously, indeed, that we would _NEVER_ try to translate "condom" into Old Norse.  We are adults and beyond that sort of thing.  Really.

So, I've been asked to make a "useful phrases" book by my laurel (for those of you who know or care what that means), Hringr, well known for building portative organs (this becomes important later).  I like the assignment, so I've decided to do it.

The problem is that I don't know what I'm doing.  So here's a start, with many appeals for help.  I would like to get the spelling to match FGT, but haven't even glanced at that yet... actually I havne't put much work at all into this yet... He asked me a couple of days ago, I decided to do it yesterday, and I'd like to have something ready by Thursday.  Appologies for that, too.  My priority is grammer and sence (hmm, go figure).

I'm largly cribbing, so you should recognise much of this... Some of it's what Hringr said I should include, so I take no responsibility for that.  <ahem>  At the end I'm trying to translate a pun, and coin a word.  Erm.  Yeah.  Help.  The goal of this project is fun and silliness, and maybe getting a few more people interested in ON.

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Where do I sign in?
Hvert fáðast í bréfabók?

There is sleat outside
Krap er úti

Where is A&S? (A&S= arts & crafts, but we call it arts & sciences.  don't ask)
Hvert eru listar ok menntar?

I got drunk,
Ölr ek varð

I expect a fist in every fur cloak.
er mér í heðin hvern handar væni

Do you have any mead?
Átt þú nökkurn mjöð?

After that they took great battle-loot
Eftir það tóku þeir herfang mikið.

Do you have birth controle?
Átt þú nökkurn kumpánnbaggi?

The fellow who played with his organ in front of the queen
Kumpánninn sá þeyta organ fyrir kvan
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Hoping you'll still respect me in the morning...

Unnr in nutcase