Glen and others- Proto-Indo-European on TV!

My sister lives in West L.A. and is involved with cosmotology
and was doing hairdressing on has several connections to actors and
producers. She ran into one guy on the set of "The A List" who is e-
mailing a friend in Oregon who has an interest in linguistics
especially Indo-European. They are talking about making a film
(most likely just for television) in Proto-Indo-European, with
subtitles. My sister gave me his e-mail address, and I talked to
both of them online. I joked about possible ridiculous scenes, not
realizing that some of them they were strongly considering for this
potential film. Right now they are first considering the Proto-Indo-
European names of the characters, trying to give etymological
equivalents to modern names.

People wanting a serious pre-historic Indo-European film might be
disappointed by this potential project, though. The plan is to
begin with a scene of Indo-European Kurgan warriors on the Steppes,
but then to suddenly switch to a bizarre and at times random South
Park meets Space Balls type comedy! The plan is to have a gladiator
scene in a coloseum between Rick Moranis and Tim Allen. Rick
Moranis will still be wearing his glass in 2nd century garb. and
will always be hot and steamy and sweating, fighting Tim the "TOOL"
man (pun intended), who will also be hot and steamy. In the front
row seat of the colosuem, Doogie Howser will stand up amidst 2nd
century Romans in his doctor uniform. The names and dialogues will
of course be in Proto-Indo-European, and a Roman Classroom 2nd
century AD lecture to nursery school students on the genetic
branching of Indo-European will be included as a scene. Chuck
Norris would play Tim Allen's brother, and would be in several porn
scenes, as only Norris could do. While performing these scenes he
will shout (in a gasping voice) the whole time "Bruce, Bruce!"
(thinking of nothing but Bruce Lee's muscles.) A Proto IE cognate
to the Celtic Bruce will of course be what he says. Rick Moranis
will also call his phallus "the little lion", which will roar
sometimes. A close up of Moranis' face will show him grinning and
saying "It drives the ladies bananas." The enemy in the movie will
be Tyrhennian speakers, as my suggestion to them was to include
Proto-Indo-Tyrhennian.

I am debating whether or not I should convince them to make it a
serious Indo-European studies film. While the idea of the film is
funny, I would rather see a serious film of historical accuracy and
educational value, so I will definately point that out to them.

-Michael