I'm going away for the weekend and will have to defer a fuller
response until next week. Just one quick comment on part of your
translation:
<< "Tato Gotami dhaatuuni" (Hence, O Gotami, the relics), the word
DHAATU occurs with irregular gender-change, >>
'Gotami dhaatuuni' should be the compound 'Gotamidhaatuuni'. Gotami is
not the vocative. Kumaaraabhiva.msa's commentary on the
Therii-apadaana has the following:
Gotamidhaatuuniiti mahaapajaapati gotamiyaa a.t.thidhaatuyo. -- p. 112
I'm not familiar with the poem where the quote occurs. I'm not even
sure if Gotami herself is the speaker although it is in her section.
One will need to study the context to dertermin whether to use bones
or relics.