Well,the Buddha once told his closest disciple that having loving compasions
on the Path was one of the highest parts they can achieve. Loving kindness
and equinimity somewhat seem to counter each other don't they. If you truly
have equinimity, then you wouldn't have any feelings what so ever? But, the
Buddha has told us that the 4 Divine Abodes/Abidings are equal and all lead to
cessation of suffering. Equinimity means that favoritism, especially when it
comes to anger, is important!

I think the problem for many outside the practice of Buddhism and without
direct instruction/an acarya in the scriptures and day to day practice is that
most forget we are all human and have flaws, and are not Arahats and this and
that. We should learn to love and have relationships with each other, we have
to or we'll never learn to deal with each other. The Sangha is one big
relationship, espcially if your living in the monastery.

You canot leave this world nor avoid humans, even as the all mighty perfected
monk, because, as the scriptures state on a monk's daily reflection, "My life
now depends on others." Theory and application are two different things and
in this world nama and rupa are important. What the Dhamma teaches us is to
learn that even though discimination will take place it is how we embody our
relationship to that which is apart of our Path. Being in the world but not of
it.

What we must use is the example of those who take the Path of the Dhamma,
embody qualities, love, nurture, and grow with each other, not simply cease to
interact. The Buddha never said we had to do that, only that it is much easier
to learn to let go without all these attachments. In many scriptures, there
are stories of householders reaching heaven and a sublime state without giving
up everything. Look to the AN, MN, DN its right there for us to lead a life
within the context of a householder and grow to become illuminated and happy.

Myself, I am married and many other lineages are as well, as all have roles
to play in the congreagtion, Sangha. Ours grows very well and the members all
embody the Dhamma in many ways and their lives are enriched for it. Yes, it
is different than some monk who sets away and separated from the congregation
but we are in American that is hard to do with our social structure. Plus,
what we have to look at is that many who are these seprated individuals are
miserable so they aren't getting it, they missing the point, ha ha. Religion and
practice can make one free or chained to misery and morification. This is
what the Buddha found on his journey when he first started out.

Do you reach rapture and release or unhappiness and nihilism.
Do you reach happiness or misery.
Do you love the Path and feel free from it or bound by chains of discontent
and judgementalism.

As they say, the proof is in the pudding....

Virupa Arya


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