Dear Alan,

Your rewriting is basically correct. I would prefer

"With (or as a consequence of) cessation of ignorance, which is its complete
fading away comes/follows sa'nkaaranirodho"

And avijjaaya should come before nirodhaa. asesa- is grammatically
apposition as in the kammadhaaraya compound.

"avijjaaya nirodhaa asesaviraagaa sa'nkhaaranirodho"

Best wishes,

Ole Pind