Dear Yong Peng,
You ask this so kindly, so I shall try to answer.
op 18-02-2004 11:57 schreef Ong Yong Peng op
ypong001@...:
> What about you, Nina? How about sharing with us your story? :-)
N: My husband and I were posted to Thailand 1966-1970, almost five years,
because of his work as a diplomat. I met my good friend in the Dhamma, Ms.
Sujin who taught me the Abhidhamma. Immediately I was very impressed by the
Abhidhamma, I found it most helpful to understand my life. I also read
almost all suttas. After we left Thailand, we returned there many times, and
also just now. It is very inspiring to keep contact with all my Thai friends
and exchange views about satipatthana in daily life: how difficult it is,
but, also, that we should never despair, always be courageous. Such visits
bolster my confidence in the teachings.
I wrote some very simple reminiscences in "My Time with Acharn Sujin", to be
found on
http://www.zolag.co.uk/
I shall now post a few extracts from these.
<At breakfast I listened to Acharn Sujin¹s radio program and heard time and
again the terms denoting the different cittas arising in sense-door
processes and mind-door processes. Thai and Pali are very close, and in this
way I could learn all these terms. But becoming used to these terms does not
mean experiencing all the different cittas. Acharn Sujin explained that
intellectual understanding is a foundation for awareness and right
understanding that can arise later on. She stressed the importance of
foundation knowledge: knowledge of the details of cittas, of their different
characteristics, of cetasikas (mental factors), such as feeling, akusala
cetasikas, beautiful cetasikas and rúpas. Indeed, as we read in the suttas,
listening, considering are most important conditions for the arising of
satipatthåna, sati (awareness) and paññå (understanding) that directly
realize characteristics of nåma and rúpa.
We begin to recognize attachment, lobha, and aversion, dosa, in our lives,
and this is useful, but we should not take this for awareness. For many
years I thought that thinking was awareness. We may think without words,
recognize realities very quickly, but, when we are very sincere, there is
still an idea of self who does so. It is not paññå of satipatthåna. ...
Acharn Sujin helped me to see what is akusala and what is kusala in the
different circumstances of daily life. She often said, the teachings are
³not in the book², they are directed to the practice of everyday life. Also
the Abhidhamma is not technical, it helps us to have a more refined and
detailed knowledge of different cittas as they occur at this moment. When I
said that I had enjoyed reading a beautiful sutta, she answered, ²It is so
sad when we only think of what is in the book, when we do not apply it.² I
realized that we may cling to what we read instead of seeing it as a
reminder to develop understanding. ...
We may notice that realities appear through different doorways, that sound
is experienced through ears and hardness is experienced through the
bodysense. However, we may take noticing realities for direct awareness of
them. Acharn Sujin said, ³You may believe, I have developed a great deal of
understanding, I sees that there is nothing else but nåma and rúpa.¹ ² She
then explained that in reality this is only thinking, not direct
understanding of one nåma or rúpa at a time. Hearing is nåma, it experiences
sound. Sound is rúpa, it does not experience anything. When hearing arises
we think almost immediately of the meaning of the sound, its origin, of
words which were spoken and the meaning of those words. Thinking is another
type of nåma, different from hearing. Her remarks were an eye-opener to me.
This shows again how important discussions on the Dhamma are. Without them
our misunderstandings of the Dhamma would not appear....
Throughout all these years with Acharn Sujin we discussed again and again
what seeing is: the experience of what appears through eyesense. We
discussed what hearing is: the experience of what appears through the
earsense. We are always forgetful of seeing and hearing, because we are more
interested in concepts such as people, things and events. We can never be
reminded enough of nåma and rúpa, because these are ultimate realities paññå
has to understand. Right understanding of nåma and rúpa leads to detachment
from the idea of self.
We were reminded that awareness is not self, it cannot be induced. Acharn
Sujin asked us: ²Who is aware?² When we answered, ³Awareness is aware², she
said, ²That is in the book, but in your mind?² Such remarks made us realize
how much we are still clinging to the idea of ³my awareness².>
Nina.