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> 18. Upaasakaa sama.nehi saddhi.m vihaare sannipatanti.
> lay devotees / monks / with / in monastery / assemble
> Lay devotees assemble in the monastery with monks.
Suggested tr:
The lay devotees assemble with the monks in the monastery.
"saddhi.m" here bring together "upaasakaa" and "sama.nehi".
It sounds more natural English if we use articles like "the", etc. Your
style will develop in due course, like whether to use "and" or not
(asyndeton, etc).
If you are really serious into good English style, one tool you must have is
J.A Cuddon, "Dictionary of Literary Terms and Literary Theory" (mine is 3rd
ed)
There are simpler and shorter versions of such works.
One must have a living interest in the English language (esp literary) as
understood today and study the styles of other translators.
Otherwise becoming an "intuitive" translator (as Norman once put it) is not
very helpful. This may be gospel truth to the believers but is of little use
in serious discussion and academic study. The modern critical method is one
of the key causes of the renaissance of Buddhism today. Read for example
free and accessible works like Damien Keown's critical analysis of the
Chann'ovaada Sutta ("Buddhism and Suicide: The Case of Channa", 1996) on the
JBE website. Such studies make a traditional Buddhist student (like myself)
understand the Pali texts more clearly than ever.
You also need to know what is meant by "critical apparatus" in due course.
Any good study of suttas (the number is growing) will give you a good idea
of this, e.g. any of the newer translations of the PTS texts like
Nyanamoli's "Minor Readings..." (tr of Khuddaka Paa.tha) or Norman's
"Elders' Verses" (tr of Theragaathaa).
Nyanamoli's notes on Buddhist doctrine are excellent although I find his
translation style (words mainly) a little quirky, easy only for the true
devotee and the specialists.
Norman is really great if you are into linguistic analysis, for that is what
he does best in his trs of Sn, Tha, and Thi. Howevere his articles (esp his
Collected volumes) are true gems and should be read by anyone who even
dreams of ttranslating Pali (read for example his article "On Translating
Pali" published in the "One Vehicle" (1987), National University of
Singapore Buddhist).
There are also very good monographs, like Graeme MacQueen's "A Study of trhe
Sramanyaphala Sutra (a classic) or "The Glorious Deeds of Purna : A
Translation and Study of the Purnavadana" by Joel Tatelman (Reprint. Delhi,
Motilal Banarsidass, 2001). Joel presented me with his thesis back in 1988
but I will be ordering his revised title very soon.
The current triad of new translations by practising Buddhists--namely, "The
Long Discourses of the Buddha" (Walshe, 1995), "The Middle Length Discourses
of the Buddha" (Nyanamoli/Bodhi, 2nd ed 2001) and "The Connected Sayings of
the Buddha" (Bodhi, 200) are all excellent and readable translations,
compared to say F.L. Woodward's attempt on the Anguttara. These three
translations are well annotated, but they still have not risen to the
critical standard set by the PTS.
Anyway, if Bhikkhu Bodhi (or any other qualified person) completes "The
Numerical Sayings of the Buddha", then all the four primary Nikayas are
completed. On the other hand, I think the best translation would be done by
a community of scholars and spiritual practitioners working in tandem: a
monumental task in itself. Then again Buddhism is siuch a free market
religion, we do not want to turn to Tripitaka into a Christian Bible. But a
book is a book is a book.
These are our stars: we may not be them but we can be guided by them.
As our bright stars on distant Sumeru watch us puny lovers of Pali toil and
fumble like curious children with strange new toys, I hope they would deign
occasionally to cast a few pearls of their wisdom for our benefit and for
the many.
Sukhi.
P