Thanks for your helpful feedback, Dimitry.
I like most of your suggested improvements to my
translation and accordingly have amended the document,
which I will re-post to our list files section as soon
as I complete entering my translations for chapter 8.

Peace, John
--- "������� ���������� ��������� (Dimitry A.
Ivakhnenko)" <koleso@...> wrote:

> Dear John,
>
> Keep up the good work! :)
> I have less to correct as your translations improve.
>
> JK> I would very much welcome feedback from you all,
> JK> particular on chapter 7 - corrections,
> suggestions for
> JK> a better translation, etc.
>
> Here are my notes:
>
> Lesson 7
> Part 1
> 1.
> paramparaaya is missed in translation;
> garuuti - garu + iti,
> hence 'ascetic, our teacher', i.e. don't follow
> consideration 'this
> contemplative is our teacher';
> akusalaa - unskillful;
> samattaa - brought to completion;
> hitaaya is in Dative, denoting end result or
> purpose, hence:
> When greed arises in a person, does it arise for
> welfare or for harm?
> For harm, venerable Sir.
> 'whose mind is overcome and completely possessed by
> greed'.
> 4.
> 'As a king would abandon the conquered kingdom,
> roam alone as an elephant king in the elephant
> forest'.
>
> Part 2
> 1.
> na sevitabbo - should not be served;
> 'whose mind is overcome and possessed by lust';
> 4.
> 'Like a great pig fed on fodder,
> Again and again reaches the womb, foolish one';
> 'Delight in diligence - protect your mind,
> Lift yourselves from the road of suffering,
> as an elephant steeped in the mud'.
>
> Metta,
> Dimitry
>
>
>
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