Keep up the good work! :)
I have less to correct as your translations improve.
JK> I would very much welcome feedback from you all,
JK> particular on chapter 7 - corrections, suggestions for
JK> a better translation, etc.
Here are my notes:
Lesson 7
Part 1
1.
paramparaaya is missed in translation;
garuuti - garu + iti,
hence 'ascetic, our teacher', i.e. don't follow consideration 'this
contemplative is our teacher';
akusalaa - unskillful;
samattaa - brought to completion;
hitaaya is in Dative, denoting end result or purpose, hence:
When greed arises in a person, does it arise for welfare or for harm?
For harm, venerable Sir.
'whose mind is overcome and completely possessed by greed'.
4.
'As a king would abandon the conquered kingdom,
roam alone as an elephant king in the elephant forest'.
Part 2
1.
na sevitabbo - should not be served;
'whose mind is overcome and possessed by lust';
4.
'Like a great pig fed on fodder,
Again and again reaches the womb, foolish one';
'Delight in diligence - protect your mind,
Lift yourselves from the road of suffering,
as an elephant steeped in the mud'.